Couples Counseling – A Guide to Coping with Infertility

February 14, 2020 at 5:00 AM
by Dr. Toni Rabinowitz

For committed couples, the prospect of not being able to conceive is devastating news. In fact, the crisis of infertility can either strengthen or weaken a marriage. To overcome this challenge, couples need to exert effort to infuse their marriage with positivity.

If you and your spouse are unable to conceive, there are things you can do to keep your relationship strong. For sure, you can weather this crisis, but you need to be committed and willing to put in the work required to keep your marriage growing. To help you with this, we’ve put together the following tips that you can implement with the help of your spouse or partner.

Work together

No matter who has been diagnosed to be the source of the problem or the “patient,” infertility is a problem you need to face as a couple. Work together as a team, whether it’s for the therapy sessions or finding alternatives that you can both agree on. This is not a blame game, and you should both be willing to face this challenge as a team.

Go on couples getaways

If you’re undergoing treatment and need to go on periodic examinations, dealing with infertility can quickly turn into a stressful chore. This is why it’s essential to take couples breaks. Go on a staycation or a quick weekend getaway. Have dinner dates. Make time for leisure together as a couple. Doing these things will make dealing with infertility less stressful, and it’ll make you appreciate each other more.

Be spontaneous

It’s a common problem for couples that are having difficulty conceiving for even lovemaking to turn into a chore, especially when it has to be scheduled to match the woman’s ovulation period. What you can do, then, is to separate spontaneous, intimate moments from scheduled intercourse. Also, remember that intimacy is not always about having sex. So you can attain a deeper, more meaningful relationship by injecting some romance into your lives. Go on long walks and indulge in deep, meaningful conversations and talk about your dreams together.

Seek support from others

Infertility is not something you need to face on your own as a couple. You have family and friends you can turn to for support and advice. There are also other couples who may be going through a similar experience. Join support groups that can help you gain more insights into your situation. Talk to friends and family and get the encouragement you need.

Be okay with dealing differently

Even when you are part of a couple, you and your spouse will have different ways of coping with stress. Avoid taking things personally. Know when you each need some space. Be quiet when you need silence, but always make time to talk.

Talk about the good things

A problem like infertility can cast a shadow on a relationship and may become the center of your conversations without you even noticing. Try not to be engulfed by it and make a conscious effort to communicate the positive things in your relationship and your lives. Talk about your careers, your plans and dreams for one another.

Make time to laugh

As they say, “laughter is the best medicine.” It is. Go out and watch your favorite comedy. Find things to laugh about, exchange jokes and tease one another the way you did before. Humor is such a simple thing, but it is essential in every relationship.

Get expert advice

If life becomes too stressful and you’re having difficulty coping with infertility, you can always seek couples counseling. A couples’ counselor or a similar professional can help you gain insight into what’s going on between you two, as well as individually. You’ll also be getting the support and information you need to deal with what’s facing you, so you can work things out together with your spouse.

Sure, infertility is a major challenge for couples, but it’s something you can certainly weather together. If you have questions about infertility and want to know how couples counseling can help, please contact us at Dr. Toni Rabinowitz.